The last couple of weeks have been a little rough. Our oldest daughter has decided that school isn't important. Well, we got our first call from the principal the other day and it wasn't very pleasant. Ben and I were upset and for many days thought that maybe we were doing something wrong. Then my wonderful sister-in-law told us that she has had 9 years of bad examples and that we were doing something good because in 9 months she had changed and they had noticed it. It's kind of like being caught in something and not knowing what to do. A part of me wants to shelter her and protect her from the evils of this world. Then a part of me wants her to experience the natural consequences of life so I can be her mom and Ben can be her dad that she never had. I see deep down she hurts and I want to fix it right now!
My biggest fear is that when we got termination of rights and I sat in front of her mother testifying, that now for some odd reason I feel like I am letting everyone down. What I mean is that I remember telling her mom that I was going to do my best to give her the chance of a lifetime. A chance at life that she was never given. So many people have failed my daughter in the past and I don't want to be next. I know she can do better. I know she wants to have an education because she always talks about who is significant in her life. When we talk about growing up, she says "I want to be like Tia BB and work in an office and be someone important and have lots of friends." Or she'll say "I want to be a nurse like Tia Stacy or you mom." Believe me these expectations have gone from "I want to work at Sonic or be a waitress. They pay really good." to really looking up to important people. I remind her that she can do anything as long as she puts her mind to it. Needless to say, Ben and I strive everyday to push her through her homework, to participate with every school activity, and show her that we are there for her no matter if she gets a 60 or 100. Please pray for us...God never gives us more than we can handle. I just wish he didn't trust us so much.
1 comment:
I am praying for y'all!! I know, without a doubt, that y'all have given her the best home and family she could ever have and that you will NEVER let her down!! I am really proud of you for what you have given her already!! She will have some rough days but the important thing is that when those rough days come and she turns around, y'all are there for her!! It will be OK!
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